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hb-writes · 4 years ago

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Aesthetically Pleasing

It was a little after eleven in the morning and despite the lovely day blooming outside her window, Mia was still holed up in her room. It was quite possibly her favorite place on earth, or at the very least, the most comfortable and soothing place on earth. Though Mia enjoyed being a part of a large family and passed more time with her parents and siblings in common areas of the home than most adolescents, she had always cherished her bedroom.

Mia loved her room in the Forks house most of all though. Not that there was anything wrong with the rooms she had in Alaska or New Hampshire or Chicago before that, but there was something so aesthetically pleasing about the expansive room with its wall of windows and the more mature décor Esme had helped her select after they’d moved.

But despite it being her favorite place, Mia didn’t love the upkeep involved with keeping it neat and tidy which was why she was still tucked away under the covers despite her mother’s gentle suggestion from two hours prior indicating that things looked as though they needed to be tidied.

Esme had said it innocently enough, almost as if she was offering her daughter nothing more than a possibility to consider, but it was the third weekend in a row she’d mentioned it, Esme's honey eyes scanning over the pile of clothes on the chair in the corner and the papers and books strewn across Mia's desk and the floor. And before Esme shut the door, she smiled and said, “Thank you, sweetheart,” so Mia knew not to bother even trying to do anything else until the dreaded deed was finally done.

She'd already been thanked for the effort she had yet to put in.

It wasn’t exactly that Mia hated cleaning, just that she knew herself and therefore knew it was a hefty endeavor she would be undertaking, one which could eat up the whole of her Saturday with ease because Mia never just cleaned her room. She removed everything from its place, reordering the books on her bookshelves and refolding the clothing stuffed haphazardly into her drawers.

And then she repositioned every piece of furniture.

And did the regular cleaning bits—the sweeping and mopping and dusting.

And put everything in its new proper place.

And it always took an entire day, a few hours of which were consumed by her simply thinking about the task she’d be assuming. Today the thinking had only taken her two hours rather than three.

Having finally decided on the new configuration for her furniture, Mia pushed off the covers and moved to the door. She’d need cleaning supplies and breakfast. She figured she was entitled to leave her room for that at least, but when she opened her door, Alice greeted Mia with a plate in her hand, the bucket of cleaning supplies set at the threshold to her room.

“Esme asked me to bring you this.”

“No coffee?” Mia groaned.

“Carlisle says you’ve been having too much.”

Mia was about to argue when Alice handed her the plate and disappeared, returning moments later with a mug.

“Green tea. A compromise.” Alice offered Mia a smile. “You’re planning on rearranging?”

Alice leaned a bit to see beyond her little sister and into the room as Mia rolled her eyes.

“You’ve gotten much too good at catching me when my guard is down.”

“I’m not trying. My mind is just attuned to the people I care about.” Alice reached out and tapped a finger on Mia’s nose. “But here.” Alice handed over the mug. “I should let you get to it.”

Mia used her foot to nudge the bucket with cleaning supplies over the threshold.

“The bed looks nice facing the windows,” Alice said over her shoulder while skipping down the hall, Mia’s hum the only answer provided as she tapped the door shut with her foot.

It was nearly two hours later when Mia halted her cleaning, the act of stopping almost like coming out of a fog, and she looked around the disaster that was her bedroom while Vivaldi played in the background.

She quite liked the juxtaposition of it, the music and the mess. Nearly every piece of furniture had been emptied of its contents with books and clothes and knickknacks covering her bed. The room was ready to be put back together.

Mia pushed herself off the floor and decided on dealing with the chair first. She planned to set it facing out at the windows. That was her plan for every piece of furniture she occupied—her desk, her bed, her reading chair. She wanted them all facing out at the yard so she could glance up from whatever she was doing and see outside straight away.

The chair only had to go from one corner to the next. She’d have to drag it, but she could easily manage on her own. Everything else might need a bit of assistance, but the chair she could manage. She bent down to get a grip and by the time she lifted, Carlisle was at her door.

“Why don’t you let me help with that?” he offered.

Mia shook her head. Her knees were already bent, her hands fit beneath the underside of one corner. “I’ve got it.”

“I’m sure you have, but—”

“It’s not heavy,” she said, lifting the corner up, “and I’m stronger than I look.”

Carlisle smiled. “I’m sure you are, but—”

“Dad, I’ve got—” The chair fell out of Mia’s grasp as she turned towards Carlisle, her bare foot shifting just enough that it slipped beneath the wooden base at the very same moment as Mia's fingers released it.

Carlisle had the chair off of her foot as quickly as it had landed, quicker probably, but Mia had already lowered herself to the floor, grasping the foot and whimpering as her eyes grew wet.

Carlisle kneeled beside his daughter and reached out towards her foot. He would need to get a look at it. The chair wasn’t terribly heavy, but Mia had dropped it from a distance. “I’ll need to—”

Mia shook her head and drew back from him. “Not yet,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Does it feel broken?”

Mia shook her head again, meeting his eye though her hands still covered the foot she’d drawn into her body.

“Will you let me see?"

At her silence, Carlisle lowered himself completely, sitting down beside her on the floor. “You know, if you truly didn’t want to clean your room, I’m sure your mother would have allowed you out of it without you having to incur an injury.”

“She wouldn’t even let me out of the room for breakfast,” Mia mumbled, “and she’s already thanked me.”

“She already thanked you? Well, I suppose injury was your only option, then.”

Mia tried to hide her smile. "I’ll only show you if you promise not to touch it.”

Carlisle smiled. “You know that I’ll need to, but I won’t until you’re ready.”

Mia didn’t answer, but scooted herself back and extended her foot towards her father with eyes closed.

“Are you ready?”

“Go ahead,” Mia muttered, wincing as his cold hands skimmed over the tender, inflamed skin.

“Well, it certainly won’t be the most pleasant sight to behold while it heals, but I don’t think it’s broken,” he said as he stood up from the floor. “Let’s see if you can bear weight.”

She slid her legs back into her body again, shaking her head. “Dad, I—”

Carlisle extended both hands down to her. “You can do it. You’re stronger than you look, remember?”

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #cullen sister #cullen daughter #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #esme cullen #mia cullen #i love you prompts #300 follower celebration

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keeptheotherone · 3 years ago

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Mecation: Day 1

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages.

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life.

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college.

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with.

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential!

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day.

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease.

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian.

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :)

#ktoo travels #covid coping #mental health #about ktoo #ktoo nurses #herself

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snapsbysio · 4 years ago

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Reportage Photographers

Brian Yurasits is an oceanic/marine conservationist/scientist who has dedicated his life to protecting marine habitats all across the globe. He advocates for sustainability to help stop the cluttering of plastics and other harmful materials on the worlds beaches.

He spends his time undergoing rigorous clean up operations on beaches and catalogues the atrocious sights he sees on these beaches. He has his photos on the popular sight ‘Unsplash’ free to download and save. This fact is amazing to me. He doesn't profit off of these images he takes. He displayed them for free and allows news organisations and others to use these for free in order to get the word out about oceanic conservation.

I chose him to research specifically as he also comes across thousands of disposed masks, relating to my chosen topic. This image is one such example:

A face mask found during a beach cleanup in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire.

This image, in my opinion, perfectly displays the harsh realities of improper mask disposals. The theme of my chosen exploration. My favourite detail of this image is the way you can see the grains of sand tucked away within the folds of the mask, which suggests that this mask has buried (Read: INFESTED) itself into nature like a deadly parasite. The light is coming in at a 45 degree angle from the upper left of the image, which highlights the masks shape and colour. It is alarming that the mask should be a mixture of light and darker blues, almost blending in against the same colourings present in the sea and sky, further adding into my vision of infestation.

Chris Packham, much like Brian, is a photographer who keeps the environment at the centre of his work. In fact, this quote by the man himself may prove effective in granting some insight into his beliefs:

‘People who litter are unwittingly helping to kill and injure the wildlife we all love. As a naturalist, I’m only too aware of mankind’s impact on the natural world and litter is one very visible example of this. Not only is it unsightly but it seriously affects wild animals both on land and in our oceans.’

Chris launched ‘Keep Britain Tidy’ The pictures were commissioned by the supermarket chain Lidl UK, which will be donating £500,000 from the proceeds of its single-use carrier bag charge to the new initiative designed to inspire young people to reduce litter and waste and improve their local parks and green spaces.

An example of his work:

Your eyes are automatically drawn to the red and yellow of the McDonalds chip box and the chips. This the the focal point of the image, seeing how it is focus. The green lines in this photograph illustrate how your eyes are then led from the central object (The chips) and up “Higher” in the photograph as you see the blurred shapes of the birds, hungrily swarming the food packaging. This shows that nature is drawn to these things and it is out duty to ensure that our wasteful ways do not effect the world.

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purpleiri · 4 years ago

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Xu Mo: Revelation Date Translation

许墨【启秘之约】

When Xu Mo was in England, he once rented a small farmhouse long-term. Now, he needs to handle the cancellation of his lease. With an opportunity to travel, I naturally followed him there happily. What surprised me was that, there, Xu Mo had hidden an important secret concerning us.

youtube

Please do not re-post my translations.

I’m not a professional translator. I do not claim that my translations are 100% accurate.

I hope that you’ll enjoy watching/reading the date! Text-only version under the cut.

This was the second day since we arrived at the farmhouse.

It also marked one week since I found out that Xu Mo had rented a small farmhouse when he was in England. It was located in Hampshire, adjacent to a magnificent large manor.

Now that his lease has expired, Xu Mo needed to personally come over to handle matters regarding rent. Naturally, I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to travel like this and so I followed him here happily.

Today, we woke up especially early to cook up a hearty English-styled breakfast.

MC: “Xu Mo, how do you cook these canned baked beans?”

Xu Mo: “You just need to heat it up a little. Let me do this, it isn’t easy to open a can like this.”

He took the can from my hands and cleanly pried the lid open.

The fried egg in the pan sizzled and oil started spattering. I quickly looked back and carefully placed the half-cooked egg onto a plate.

MC: “Xu Mo, Xu Mo, I managed to cook a perfectly round sunny-side up egg!”

Xu Mo was pouring the beans out of the can when he quickly glanced at my plate and chuckled.

Xu Mo: “Actually, I can also cook an egg like this. I just never had the chance to demonstrate it.”

MC: “Oh~ Really?”

I spoke with a deliberate drawl and looked at Xu Mo with suspicion.

MC: “Doesn’t Professor Xu not even know how to make dumplings?”

Xu Mo’s gaze stilled, looking as if he was rendered a little speechless by my ridicule.

Xu Mo: “I’ll have to admit, you are indeed my teacher when it comes to cooking.”

“But, Teacher, you need to have a little faith in your outstanding student.”

“My culinary skills will not just stay the same.”

With a smile, I carefully arranged some of the cooked ingredients on the plate according to how it was done by a food blogger shown on my phone.

MC: “Mm, the bread is done baking too……”

Xu Mo: “Besides these, is there anything else left to do?”

I stood in front of the refrigerator and thought about it.

MC: “Actually, we could also fry some potato wedges. But right now, we might not even be able to finish eating what we already have.”

“Let’s just have this for now!”

Xu Mo glanced at the plate filled to the brim with food and suddenly walked behind me.

Xu Mo: “You missed one most important thing.”

MC: “The most important thing?”

Sausages, bacon, shiitake mushrooms, toast, baked beans, fried eggs… aren’t these all?

And yet, Xu Mo grabbed a small, clean pot and placed it on the counter, pouring two full glasses of water into it.

Xu Mo: “It’s not an English breakfast without milk tea.”

“Come, I’ll teach you how to cook milk tea.”

MC: “Eh?”

Xu Mo’s placed his arms on the sides of my waist, surrounding me tightly in his embrace.

MC: “……but I know how to cook milk tea.”

My quiet protest was wholly ignored. He lowered his head and rested his chin on my shoulder, leaning even closer.

Xu Mo: “The first step in cooking milk tea is to wait for the water to boil before putting in the tea leaves.”

Before long, the water in the small pot started bubbling.

Xu Mo placed the bag of tea leaves in my hand. He held my hand in his and directed it towards the pot, gently pouring some of the tea leaves into it.

Xu Mo: “Now, we need to wait patiently for a while.”

As soon as the tea leaves came into contact with the boiling water, the tea’s light fragrance permeated the air along with the hot steam. I leaned against Xu Mo and took in the farmhouse a little curiously.

Although it has been a long time since Xu Mo has visited, this place seemed to be well-taken care of. Not only were the furniture sparkling clean, even the bouquets of flowers decorating the windowsills were fresh.

MC: “Xu Mo, when did you start renting this place?”

Xu Mo: “After graduation. Back then, I was working on some research and wanted to find a place where I could focus on writing the paper. So, I rented this place.”

MC: “You rented a farmhouse specially to write a paper?”

At my exaggerated tone, Xu Mo laughed.

Xu Mo: “You don’t have to be so surprised. The cost of rent and utilities here isn’t as high as you might think.”

“Moreover, I didn’t have plans to return to the country back then. I did need a place where I could stay for a longer term.”

As he spoke, Xu Mo turned down the heat of the stove.

Xu Mo: “It’s time to pour in the milk.”

I followed his instructions and poured almost half a pot of milk inside, gently stirring the pot continuously with a ladle.

MC: “After returning to the country, did you come back here again?”

Xu Mo: “I didn’t. I was too busy.”

“This is certainly a situation I didn’t expect…”

“Fortunately, the owner of this place would come here often to do some cleaning and take care of the flowers and plants.”

He touched upon the subject casually, and suddenly clasped my waist with one hand.

Xu Mo: “But coming here this time, I’ve had some new experiences.”

“Just now, I’ve been thinking, it’s no wonder that the old professors from the University love coming here to enjoy farm life after retiring.”

“This kind of leisurely and carefree way of life really does make one yearn for it.”

I turned around and smiled at him.

MC: “If Professor Xu wants to retire, he’ll have to wait for at least another forty years, doesn’t he?”

Xu Mo gently pressed his lips against my neck.

Xu Mo: “I think that one should decide when to hide away at the countryside based on how they feel.”

MC: “I say this on behalf of our motherland’s field of scientific research: this is not good.”

The milk tea in the post has started giving out an irresistible, delicious fragrance. I quickly switched off the stove.

MC: “What’s the next step? Filtering?”

Xu Mo: “Let me do it. During this time, you can set up the dining table and think about what to do after eating breakfast.”

MC: “I’d wanted to walk around nearby, but since it rained last night the ground must still be wet and muddy.”

“Let’s go up to the attic and read some books. While we’re at it, we could help the owner take care of the flowers and plants upstairs.”

Xu Mo: “Mm, that’s good too.”

After breakfast, I searched the bookshelves and found two novels that seemed easy enough to understand. Carrying the books in my arms, I was prepared to bring them up to the attic.

A thoughtful expression suddenly appeared on Xu Mo’s face, seeming like he just remembered something important.

Xu Mo: “Could I trouble you with going upstairs and tidying up first? I want to go and look for something.”

MC: “Look for something?”

Xu Mo: “Mm, I left it here on purpose last time. But I don’t know if it’s still here.”

I nodded my head. After bringing the books and tea cups up into the attic, I even grabbed two cushions from the sofa and brought them along.

After having done all these, Xu Mo still did not follow me upstairs. I was a little curious; listening carefully, I followed along to where the sounds came from and arrived at the entrance of the house.

Xu Mo: “Got it.”

Upon noticing me standing in front of him, Xu Mo turned around and smiled softly at me.

Xu Mo: “The keys are now being kept in a different place, so I spent some time looking for them.”

I looked at the keys hanging off his little finger, and then looked at the stack of letters in his hand.

MC: “Hasn’t it been a long time since you came here? Why are there still letters being sent to you?”

Xu Mo: “Let’s go upstairs first.”

After closing the mailbox again, he walked over and held my hand.

I still could not tear my eyes away from the stack of envelopes in his hand, and I could not help but feel that one of them looked a little familiar.

Xu Mo: “After having stared at it for so long, you still don’t remember it?”

Just as we stepped off the last of the stairs leading up to the attic, Xu Mo gently scratched the tip of my nose.

Xu Mo: “I’ll give you a little hint—do you still remember how we visited a bookstore in the past?”

MC: “Bookstore? …what bookstore?”

I felt puzzled by his question, but still used the clue to carefully recall what happened.

Xu Mo looked at me patiently. Lingering at the corner of his lips was a smile hinting at a restrain on his part. He looked as if he wanted to reveal the answer, yet at the same time hopeful that I could remember it immediately.

MC: “It’s from……”

I hesitated for a moment, worried that I might answer it incorrectly. But the colour of the envelope coincided with the one in my memory.

MC: “It’s from when we went to the New Light Bookstore and wrote down a time capsule?”

He responded with a gentle hum and solemnly handed the brightly coloured envelope in his hand over to me. At the same time, he drew another envelope from the stack of letters.

Xu Mo: “Do you want to open it?”

I held onto the envelope in my hand as my thoughts brought me back to that afternoon when I went to the bookstore together with Xu Mo.

It was a Saturday. The weather forecast said that it would be cloudy, but it suddenly started raining after we went out. As such, we could only cancel our original plans and hurriedly ran to the bookstore for shelter.

It just so happened that the bookstore was running a small readers’ event with emotions as its theme. I hid the feelings of pettiness in my heart and pulled Xu Mo along to participate with me.

The setup of the event was very simple. Besides having invited a few novelists to speak on the subject of emotions, participants were asked to take part in their time capsule activity.

Everyone had to pick one or several questions from a fixed set of questions on emotions. We wrote down our answers on pieces of paper, put them in envelopes, and handed them over to the bookstore for safekeeping.

MC: “I remember, the bookstore told us at the time that we could go back after ninety-nine days to retrieve our time capsules, didn’t they?”

Xu Mo: “They did give me a call. Unfortunately, there were some changes that happened between us.”

“By right, I should have given them a way to contact you instead. But I was selfish.”

“I requested them to have both of our letters sent to this address, just so that I would not give in to temptation for whatever reason and end up opening your letter secretly…”

“And to also give myself a chance.”

“If I could come back here together with you one day, I wanted to open this letter right in front of your eyes.”

His voice was peaceful, as if he were simply calmly narrating a story from the past.

In fact, right after saying all these, he lifted the cup and took a sip of hot tea with a smile. I looked at the way his eyebrow was shrouded by the swirling hot mist and smiled softly as well.

We were like two people recklessly determined on going forward with their backs to each other, taking a painful and long detour before realising that, at the end of our journey, our destination has always been the same.

And afterwards, we could only gaze upon each other and smile helplessly as we gently blamed the other for being a fool in our hearts.

MC: “…at that time, I pulled you along to write this with me because I also wanted to see your answer.”

After all, for a long time, getting along with him was more like getting along with my own little moods.

I needed to suppress my own uneasiness, and also get used to the suddenness of waiting.

He was the trickiest puzzle I have ever encountered; one that made me contemplate deeply and helplessly as I always eagerly waited for him to tell me the correct answer quickly.

Seeing that I have fallen silent, Xu Mo suddenly held my hand, the sunlight adding a layer of brightness to his deep voice.

Xu Mo: “I will now reveal the answer to you.”

We tore both of our envelopes open at the same time.

From my envelope, I took out the question card that I picked at the time, as well as the letter that I deliberately folded several times over because I was worried that Xu Mo would take a peek.

Written on the question card in a fancy font was: “What did he/she teach you?”

Curiously, I looked up and took a glance, and found that Xu Mo had picked the same question.

He calmly opened his own letter, which had three words written on it. His penmanship showcased the straightforwardness of his thinking at the time of writing.

MC: “Lack of freedom……”

When I read those three words aloud, Xu Mo laughed gently.

Xu Mo: “Why did you read it with such an unhappy tone? When I wrote this answer, I did not mean for it to be unhappy in any way.”

“Though, after meeting you, I have indeed started encountering many problems in life that I did not have before. For example…”

He solemnly started contemplating. I could not help but follow him closely; I wanted to firmly carve every word that he was going to say into my heart.

However, he sighed softly, and almost immediately afterwards he let out a laugh.

Xu Mo: “For example, what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

MC: “Huh?”

For a moment, I was stunned.

Xu Mo: “For another example, I can’t help but start noticing the flowers in spring, the rain in summer, the maple leaves in autumn, and the fine snow in winter.”

“Or, when I come across an unexpectedly good movie, I don’t want to watch it alone. When I encounter something interesting, I would start having the desire to share it.”

“The strangest of all is that even the time I spend alone has started becoming more and more dull.”

As he slowly described his thoughts, Xu Mo gazed upon me with an unfaltering smile in his eyes. He watched as my expression shifted between uncertainty and amazement. At last, he could not hold back from teasing me.

Xu Mo: “Is it strange that this is how I think?”

MC: “Ah…. Mm.”

MC: “In my eyes, you have always been……”

For a while, I struggled to find the appropriate word. I wondered if I should describe him as pragmatic or strong.

MC: “You look like… you won’t have the same worries I do.”

Xu Mo sensed the hesitation in my eyes and asked me seriously.

Xu Mo: “What kind of worries does ‘the same worries’ refer to?”

His tone was gentle and slow, mingling with a hint of mirth. Clearly, he already understood the answer to this question.

I had wanted to crack a joke with him, but when I saw the look of anticipation in his eyes, I could not help but confess what was in my heart instead.

MC: “No matter what kind of people you meet, what situations you encounter, or where you go, you will inadvertently think of one person…”

“The inability to control your own thoughts and feelings… this lack of freedom.”

Xu Mo: “……”

With a smile on his lips, Xu Mo slowly switched his sights to gaze upon the ceiling.

A soft, pure white cloud came into view. The blues of the sky and the whites of the cloud interlaced, reflecting a sense of long lost peacefulness and brightness in his deep, pool-like eyes.

Xu Mo: “Mm, they are indeed the same worries.”

At this moment, I unhurriedly opened my own letter. I did not know if it was due to our chemistry or if were a mere coincidence, but there were also three words written on it.

Xu Mo: “Lack of fear.”

When Xu Mo read the three words aloud, I could not help but laugh as well.

MC: “Why did you read it so hesitantly? Are you worried that I was feeling wronged when I wrote this?”

Xu Mo did not speak, but his knitted brows still revealed the tacit attitude he had towards my words.

MC: “It’s not like that at all.”

“At that time, I thought—no matter what happened afterwards, I would face everything willingly.”

I paused for two seconds, worried that I was speaking a little too seriously. As such, I showed Xu Mo a faintly silly smile.

MC: “Mm… either way, there is nothing left for me to be afraid of. Everything is fine.”

At my easy-going tone, the frown between Xu Mo’s eyes deepened.

He avoided my searching gaze as his eyes revealed his shifting thoughts. At last, he responded to me with his usual smile.

Xu Mo: “There’s still some milk tea left. Want to bring it up?”

My intuition told me that there was definitely a discrepancy between what he understood and what I conveyed.

I quickly grabbed onto him, wanting to express my feelings clearer.

Xu Mo: “What’s wrong?”

Xu Mo lightly brushed a strand of hair from my forehead and tucked it behind my ears, gazing upon me with his usual gentleness.

Xu Mo: “Is there anything else that you want me to bring up?”

I held onto his face and stared into his eyes directly.

MC: “The lack of fear that I’m talking about doesn’t merely refer to the fact that I’m not afraid of putting all my trust in you…”

“Rather, it means that I’m not afraid of anything.”

“I’m not afraid of the secrets that you hide, nor am I afraid of accepting the real you.”

“I’m not afraid of walking towards you, towards all the setbacks and bumps in the road that we must overcome—”

“And I’m not afraid of being with you, or the responsibilities and costs that I have to bear along with it.”

“Nothing else matters. Being able to meet you, and being able to have this moment with you—this is already good enough.”

Once I have finished saying it all in one breath, I realised that my heart was beating faster than usual.

Truthfully, these words should have been spoken much earlier. Once I have confirmed my own feelings, I should have told him everything…

Just like the answer hidden in the envelope, the time to unseal it had been a long time coming.

Xu Mo looked at me quietly, his eyes revealing a surprise that I have never seen before.

Hot steam was swirling out of the cup of hot tea, the bitter and sweet aroma of tea scattering in the air.

For a while he was silent, his eyebrows slightly furrowing.

Xu Mo: “In your eyes, am I some kind of big bad guy?”

“Why do you need to gather up this much courage to be with me?”

“Having to overcome setbacks, having to bear the costs…”

“Is it really this tough?”

Xu Mo spoke, showing a very troubled expression.

Xu Mo: “Actually, I thought that your lack of fear was the same as my own lack of fear.”

He pretended to be all mysterious, drawling when he spoke the last of his sentence. I could only play along with him and continued asking.

MC: “This same kind of lack of fear… what kind of lack of fear is it?”

Xu Mo suddenly pulled me into his embrace, whispering closely into my ear.

His voice was like the hazy clouds—gently spreading across my heart as it dispersed, and a ray of sunlight came shining through after the rain.

Xu Mo: “With you in front of me, I am not afraid of anything—this lack of fear.”

#mlqc lucien #mlqc xu mo #许墨 #my translation

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tooanchorkingdom-blog1 · 4 years ago

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Are Private Sites Better Than Public Campgrounds Kernville

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#camping #camp

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efraingardening-blog · 5 years ago

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Efrain gardening service is your source for owner operator gardening service.

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tidytouchcleaningsblog · 9 months ago

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Tidy Touch Cleaning Service in Hampshire: Hire to Deep Clean for a Healthier Home

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#Cleaning company Southampton #Tidy Touch Cleaning Service Hampshire #Tidy Touch Cleaning Service #Cleaning Service Hampshire #Tidy Cleaning Hampshire

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titriwrites · 6 years ago

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Busy Times and Christmas Miracles

@devikafernando is terribly busy, and needs a big hug these days. And because I can't be there in person, I thought I could let Tom do it. Please, enjoy!

I’m a patient person. I really am. I’m also convinced that I can actually handle stressful situations really well. I’m used to it, really. I’m also kind and open. I have to be, running a small but well loved hotel in rural Ireland while simultaneously working as an author.

I can do calm, patient, and collected.

Well, at least I’ve always thought I can. The past 24 hours proved me wrong.

That’s actually how we met. I did a reading about one and a half years ago at a charity project for children in the hospital, and Tom was there for the same reason, acting for and visiting the small children there.

I was immediately smitten (of course), and he was as well. At least, that’s what he always tells me, that stupid charmer.

The stupid charmer who’s currently cross with me. Mad at me. Furious. Not that I actually know, because I haven’t heard from him since yesterday.

Which brings me to the fact that I’m actually, maybe, eventually not as calm, patient, and collected as I always thought.

It all started with Tom wanting to host Christmas dinner at his new house for the first time. I wanted to help (and actually spend Christmas with him, of course). I wanted to get there on the 23rd – yesterday – and stay until the 27th, with us going back to Ireland together for New Year's Eve.

I mean , yes, the hotel was supposed to be full, but my brother Michael and his wife – my best friend – Michelle are usually able to handle everything with the staff that’s there to help. The manager, night manager, cooks and cleaning ladies.

Through some sort of twisted Christmas nightmare though, our staff went out together and all managed to eat something that gave them food poisoning.

And now, we have a full house while the three people not sick – me, Michael, and Michelle – manage the tasks of usually nine. Cooking, cleaning, reception and being there for the guests.

Which – you probably guessed – means I can’t travel to Hampshire and spend Christmas with my boyfriend. I left Tom hanging, because I can’t leave my hotel and family hanging.

“Dev?” my brother calls from the hallway and knocks on the door of the office, where I’m currently staring at my phone, willing it to ring and for Tom to call me back.

“Coming!” I yell back, a little louder and probably a bit more annoyed than I actually mean.

Tom's been fine yesterday. Too fine. I knew he'd be mad at me. Yesterday, he got all quiet, but told me it would be okay. He would join me on the 27th. But where's the fun in that? I’ll probably still be busy then.

And now, he won’t answer his phone. That’s okay, it’s Christmas Eve and he’s busy. But he also doesn’t call me back.

Damn. He’s mad.

***

I’m done. I don’t want to anymore. I’m sitting on the chair in the lobby, trying to be a good night manager. But I’m so tired. Pouring my fifth cup of coffee, I stare at my phone that still doesn’t ring.

I scoff. Tom definitely had more fun playing the night manager. Who would think that it’s actually not that exciting? We can’t all be stars and spies now, can we?

I know there’s a smile on my face when I think of him. It’s automatic. I know, I know. It sounds cheesy and horrible, but I can’t help it.

He uses to say he’s going to quit his acting job, because, “Darling, I’ve played a night manager before, how hard can it actually be?”.

Well, Mr Hiddleston, it’s effing boring without gun dealers or drunks to tend to.

Also, he shouldn’t quit acting. Not only would he be unhappy, but also I’d be killed by a group of angry fangirls.

I admit, I shriek a little when I see lights outside the hotel. It’s a small town, and there aren't any guests arriving at – I look at my watch – 1.30 a.m. on a Tuesday morning. Especially not on Christmas day.

Maybe I should wake up Michael? No. He was awake for almost 24 hours, I should let him sleep. And if I get killed by a serial killer, at least the town has something to talk about.

A few minutes later, there’s a shadow outside and then suddenly – or not so suddenly, because I saw the lights – the door to the hotel slides open and I let out another shriek.

“Hi, Darling.”

That can’t be. He’s supposed to be mad at me. Damn, he’s not even supposed to be here. Oh, god, did he come here to break up with me in person? Would he call me ‘darling’ then?

“Dev?”

“Tom?” I mean, I need to be sure.

“Well, yes.”

And then he’s striding down the hall and up to the reception, where I’m still sitting, a little dumbfounded to be honest.

He looks good. Snuggled up in a fluffy jacket, and a scarf. I bet he smells good, too.

Tom stops at the desk, leaning against it with his arms on the top. “Hello, again. It’s not quite the greeting I’ve expected, if I’m honest.”

I’m still not standing up. This can’t be real. “Are you here to break up with me?”

Tom stares at me, and then chuckles. I’m not joking, though. “I’m here to help, Dev.”

“But... but...”

“No but. Can you properly say hello to me now? Please? I’ve missed you.”

I’m out of my chair in seconds – Yes, I know I could have been in his arms for some minutes now – and round the desk to hug him.

Tom holds me tight and scoops me up. “I love you,” he mumbles.

“I love you too, but...”

“No,” he mumbles into my neck.

“Your dinner,” I mumble back, but I’m not sure, if I really care.

“I bought the food, left it at the house and told my family they could spend their Christmas there,” he chuckles and shakes my body with his giggles.

“You're crazy.”

“I just want to spend my time with you. And I want to help.”

Tom lets go of me, but then leans in instead to give me a kiss. God, I missed him.

“I told you before, you can’t actually be a night manager.”

Tom laughs. “I know. But I can clean and tidy, and I can help and entertain the guests. And you maybe.”

“I like to be entertained.”

“I know.”

Tom winks and then picks up his little suitcase, before he takes my hand and leads me towards the office. “Prepare to be entertained a lot.”

#tom hiddleston fanfiction #real person fanfiction #one-shot

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